Mailing List
Twitter
Facebook
Submitted by mom Liz
As ‘Lil Baby was off teaching English to Asians, the polydactyl mew child he didn’t know existed, but was most definitely a progenitor of, was mew mew mewing her way onto the hairball stained couch on the porch of 3*23 Webster street. Fence Cat could not, and would not, allow this. ‘Urhhh Urhhh,’ she groaned, timidly, shrugging her saliva clumped fur. She was not a bad cat. But on this porch, where our lovers meet, her life alone was, and had to be, the only way for any cat to be.
Six Toed Cat (‘Lil Baby’s half-grown kitten), otherwise, and from this point on to be known as ‘Lil Twerp, was growing beautifully, with buttermilk locks never before seen on this side of Broadway Ave., but hadn’t picked up her father’s sense of modesty (as he has been off teaching English to Asians for the short duration of her existence). The chase was slow. ‘Lil Twerp walked slowly toward Fence Cat, as Fence Cat walked slowly away, both keeping pace at point 1 mph, nothing more, nothing less. *At this point it is important to note that Fence Cat was de-clawed by an owner who then abandoned her to streets that are roamed by at least ten very large Garfields, not to mention a very dangerous bicycle boulevard.
For five days ‘Lil Twerp lurked the porch; perhaps she’d heard of ‘Lil Baby’s everlasting devotion to the Fence Cat. Before ‘Lil Baby’s departure to Hong Kong, the two had almost become what in the cat world is called friends.
On the fifth day, Thursday, in the rain, ‘Lil Twerp sat on the fence, Fence Cat’s old abode. Fence Cat is a pretty cat but had recently gotten quite fat because Judy, the lady across the street, gave her too much food. On this occasion, however, her thickened frame gave her the proud presence of a beauty queen, and as she sat atop a busted speaker on the covered steps of the porch ‘Lil Twerp proceeded gradually to the couch, shivering with fur puff-balled into the air.
Pooor ‘Lil Twerp.
As we’ve said, Fence Cat was not a bad cat, and could not, and did not, let this poor little mew kitten go shivering in the cold.
***Key:
‘Lil Baby: human
‘Lil Twerp: cat
‘Fence Cat: cat
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
Haha funny cat so cuuteee.
This cat can really be there for you in the darkest and best of times. While the story above takes quite a few liberties (in the name of L.O.V.E., so it’s okay), it is mostly true.
i never knew much about, well, really anything, but little twurp, he was something else, anyway i didn’t bother to look him up in the directory since, i guess you could say, i had my paw already on the trigger. i got the snake in the mail. part of a sweepstakes or something. i get the shivers just thinking about. or i guess i got the shivers. anyways, the package had been torn in the mail, missing its tail, you know? but there was little twirp. of course! man i coulda socked him right there. i guess.
FENCE CAT AGAINST LITTLE TWERP!!!
I like Guy’s story a lot. It adds mch to the love we all express everyday. I may not know or like fence cats but this little twirp seems ok by lil baby or lil anyone or that matter. I’ve lived here for 3 years now
I like Guy’s story a lot. It adds much to the love we all express everyday. I’ve lived here for 3 years now and I may not know or like fence cats but this little twirp seems ok by lil baby or guy for that matter.
It’s true what they say, “Great cats are great fun.” Keep it up Neighbors!
As an ardent audiophile, I cannot vote for such flagrant flouting of a perfectly good woofer. Meow.
What a wonderful story!
I for one can not think of a more loveable, deserving animal to be immortalized in paint. You rock, Guinivere!
The twerp ain’t so bad, neither!
Quit horsin’ around and Vote For The Fence Cat!
Anyone got pic?
Get off the fence! Vote For The Fence!
Ive known fence cat for 5+ yrs. and think that she deserves to WIN!!!
i’ve met many other pets, including ‘Weekend’ the horse and know that fence cat is the best of them all….honorable, sweet, soft, and cute as a kitten!!!
Truely a wonderful and touching story of a girl and her fence cat. Good luck mom Liz! You deserve it!
I just wanted to say that I’ve decided to vote for that cat which frequents edifices that are typically used to demarcate property lines. I feel sorry for the tweeter though.
Fence cat is the fenciest! You go Fence Cat!
smelly fence cat rocks!
yo, get yo black ass outta her cuz dis story makes me gud exsited to read. fool… dis cat is da shiznit i showd my retarded cuzin dis an he was all lik oh… damn lil cody dis shit is dank …
To Whom it May Concern,
I have been following each pet here with florescent fervour since day 1 of this adorable contest! Did you know that that is how I started my whole career? I was comissioned to do a neon rendition of my neighbors’ 7 Labrador puppies using only puffy paint and whip cream–the rest is obviously history.
Will you please give me copyright permission to begin my neon, hologrammic series with your pet, Fence Cat!
Hi fencecat, I lost ur# (sorry new phone). want to watch degrassi with me tonite? I got a stable and things for us to do later too. Att kept my # the same so just call me whenever
Hi Lisa–
Please email me to discuss this. yesplease@vangoghmypet.com. I’m glad you have been enjoying the contest. It has been a memorable week here at Van Gogh My Pet. Thanks!
–Jennifer
I let fence cat out of the basement this morning. I wooed this great pussy cat out with a bowl of Tricks cereal! She had been in our basement for +9 hours with no food, no lil twerp, and most importantly no more paparazzi hounding her about this Weekend Debacle.
I hope you guys aren’t keeping a cat in that house.
wow! you people are rude! jokes about my story and my horse, writing rude comments! thats childish. not one of my friends or family said one thing on your page. i’m not one to give up, and at this point dont care so much as who wins this painting, we all know who the bigger person is!
you are all children. i think fence cat is probably a fine cat. but seriously you all need to get a readjustment.
judy, Im not sure about the fence cat. He wasn’t a bad cat. I’m sure, but you are obviously in need of a family or friend or something…get a life!
This is a DISGRACE! I VOTED WEEKEND EVERY HOUR EVERY DAY! FOR WHAT?! THIS CAT!? THIS FURBALL!? THESE RUDE RUDE PEOPLE!!!! I AM NOT STANDING
There were times obviously when it seemed that weekend would win. But Im not sure if weekend will win anymore. i wish things had turned out differently…to say the least.
It is great to see so many votes. It is sad that all candidates can’t win. As we near this final stretch, let’s keep up our positive sportsmanship!!
Go weekend!!!!
We love you weekend!!!!
I like you fence cat, but things are getting emotional and I just voted for Weekend!!!!
Who’s Judy? She must be a desperate housewife with NO LIFE!!!! OMG
No Cheryl, Judy’s just always elevated
Fence cat has a heart arythmia I thought . Just like me. Ha ha.
OH GOD – THE VICTORY IS SOOOO SWEET!!!!!!!! FENCE CAT 2008!!!
Congratulations Fency! We voted for you!
Someone needs to donate a cat grooming for Fence Cat now that she is a celebrity.
I bet she would feel absolutely kittenish if she were cleaned up. Matted hair is very painful for cats.
As a Weekend supporter, I have always found Fence Cat annoying. No Weekend lead was big enough that Fence Cat wasn’t nipping at Weekend’s heels (or even ahead of Weekend for short periods)!
Now I really know how wily this Fence Cat is:
1. She became fat smoozing food off the lady across the way.
2. Taking advantage of Liz’s inherent good nature, she goaded Liz to enter her into this contest – also knowing somehow of Liz’s awesome creative writing abilities. (I fully believe that Liz would normally have supported Weekend.)
3. She made a bunch of innocent people (who would normally support Weekend) unwitting accomplices to pull off a down to the wire win!
My only solace is:
1. An abandoned cat with no claws has got to be wily.
2. She must really like Van Gogh!